by Emily Walls Ray

My friend’s quest was banana cream pie, and for a good cause.  Her aunt, who had been like a mother, but whose health was in rapid decline, had a birthday coming.  Though she lived in a memory care facility in Pensacola, my friend wanted to surprise her with banana cream pie and was willing to go to great lengths to have it delivered.  

Bonnie checked first in Richmond, at all the usual suspects.  There were plenty of banana pudding choices.  I joined in the search and visited some specialty bakeries and tea shops.  I just knew it was out there and I was missing it.  

I suggested some substitutes.  Richmond is blessed with some might fine grocery stores, specialty cakes, pies, cheesecake, and creameries.  The hunt produced some serious sugar cravings, but no leads on banana cream pie.

Next, the quest continued in Pensacola through the ailing aunt’s stepdaughters.  Alas, they had the same ill luck in finding a distributor.  I kept thinking in the back of my mind that the Florida based Golden Girls would have had a source.  After all, Blanche, Dorothy, Sophia, and Rose knew all the best sources of cheesecake.  But this was Pensacola, not Miami, where Key Lime pie would have been my choice for every crisis and celebration.

The Pensacola step daughters took matters into their own hands.  One of them and her daughter found a recipe and created the banana cream pie themselves.  They served it to my friend’s aunt in her memory care facility.  My friend was delighted they followed through.  She had done the best she could.

Sadly, her aunt passed away shortly after.  However, my friend flew down to visit her before she died.  Survivors of loved ones with dementia know firsthand the pain and loss of witnessing the disappearance of the vitality and personality of the person.  So visits from long distance are often filled with acute sadness covered by a brave front.

Not long after the first visit, my friend attended her aunt’s memorial service in Florida.  Shortly after she received a copy of the family recipe.  I felt concern for my friend over all the sadness she experienced.

Imagine my delight when my son to me to a barbecue restaurant in a shopping strip nearHope Thrift store.  The dessert menu blackboard featured homemade banana cream pie!  I snapped a photo with my phone and texted it to my friend immediately.  “You’re not going to believe this!”

Shortly thereafter, I took her to sample the pie for herself.  Turns out the pies are made by the co-owner of the establishment, a Goochland girl who learned from a long line of various Southern cooks.  “The secret is the extra fat that goes into the cream,” the baker confessed.

Let me tell you, a forkful of that banana cream pie exceeded all my taste buds’ expectations.  We each savored our generous slice with coffee.  That topped off the sweet/sour sensation of the barbecue whose aroma permeated every source of air in the corner restaurant.  I came to the conclusion that every tangy, smoky barbecue needs to be followed by homemade banana cream pie.

You see,, my friend is particularly adept at knowing and selecting gifts that particularly suit the person she celebrates.  For example, she knows I enjoy reading, writing, and participating in book groups.  Over the years. I have received birthday cards specifically designed for lovers of books.  One year she gave me a tiny journal with a marbelized cover containing my initial.  Another year I received a book light and beautiful bookmark.  Another time she brought a cooler containing the most decadent chocolate dessert imaginable, only I was a ninny and declined it because I had made a birthday resolution to lose weight.  Sure regretted that one!   My only consolation looking back is that she loves chocolate almost as much as I do.  For my most recent birthday, I received the promise of a Van Gogh Starry Night inspired painting.  She brought it by to show me in its current evolution.  At this stage it is a gorgeous gradation of black, navy, and deep blues into which she will depict the swirling stars.  She had a similar piece in display at a local library art exhibit, and I expressed a strong wish for a similar painting for myself.  My friend pays attention to things like that.  She is a very good listener.  Isn’t it a gift to have an attentive friend who listens so carefully she sometimes takes notes when you are talking?  (She modestly says it’s a memory aid).

For any and every time reason, celebrating the highs of friendship is important. My friend’s birthday falls on a day known for a plethora of chocolate concoctions.  You got it—her birthday is on Valentine’s Day. In the candy department, choosing a gift for her is easy; she loves Reese’s Cups—the perfect blend of peanut butter and chocolate.

However, I  am particularly proud that my son led me to this eatery.  It will be the perfect place to revisit with my friends on any special occasion, or just because we can enjoy the treat of banana cream pie.